Thursday, July 2, 2009

Love Found (Part 2 - Down the Rabbit Hole)


When my long-time crush started to talk to me, I felt like I was the one being applauded at by the audience.

How can a flimsy, short, big-nosed, tactless, fugly (fucking ugly) and pathetic person like me end up on a date with this uber-hot guy? I tried to recall if I’ve made a bet on the “Date A Hot Guy” lottery, but I was pretty sure I didn’t.

I snapped back to reality when my long-time-crush, Raymond, asked what I wanted to do. I asked him if it were OK if he joined me and my friends at our table.

I thought I should say something like “It’s OK, I understand if you want to go back to your friends. It was really nice meeting you and I hope you live a good life and please read my blog when I wallow in self-pity by your instantaneously dumping me at first sight.”

Before the air from my diaphragm was able to reach my voice box for me to enunciate what I was thinking, he said “OK, lets go to your table then.”

My soul was doing a round-off, double back-hand-spring, full twisting lay-out to a double toe-touch when he followed me to our table. I was kind of expecting him to make a run for the nearest exit as soon as I turned my back, but he didn’t. He actually sat beside me.

When we got there, Pipes was already with his date at another table. Raymond and I joined Dage and his Mark Herras look-alike workmate.

Our conversation went really smooth. After a few minutes of the usual gay-getting-to-know-another-gay conversation, it was then that he told me that even before I messaged him in PlanteRomeo a week before that fateful meeting, we have been chatting with one another 2 years before.

He said that we used to chat often and we scheduled to meet at SBMA’s Sibil (may that bar rest in peace). He said that I stood him up, so every time he saw me online or anywhere in Olongapo for that matter, he didn’t bother talking to me since he thought that I did an O-WEB on him.

For those not in the know, O-WEB stands for One-Way Eye-Ball. It’s like this ... O-WEB happens when one person schedules to meet another person and hides behind a Kalachuchi tree as the person checks-out the lamentable date. If that person behind the Kalachuchi tree doesn’t like what he/she sees, that person texts the looser date that he/she can’t come because a comet hit him/her while parking Wonderwoman’s Invisible Jet.

Basically, Raymond thought I saw him, didn’t like him, and just made some petty excuse to cancel the date.

I asked him “How did I cancel our date from 2 years ago?”

Raymond: “You said you were really drunk and can’t go to where I was.”

Me: “Where were you at that time?”

Raymond: “Parking lot of Sibil.”

Me: “Where was I?”

Raymond: “You were inside SIbil.”

Ok, that conversation went really weird. I was pretty sure that he got the story all wrong because:

  1. It was highly improbable that I will be too drunk to walk 30 steps to meet a person. If I were really drunk, I wouldn’t have been able to text him in the first place. Some people look for fights when they get drunk. Some look for a quick way to get laid. I, on the other hand, am part of the population who fall into a catatonic stupor when drunk (known to most as falling asleep).
  2. I don’t like being stood up so I never do it to another person unless that person is Frankenstein. I’ve already had several blind dates where I wished I were blind to spare myself from the ghastly sight. But I’ve never stood a person up. When I really can’t stand my blind date, I usually spend at least 30 minutes with them before I get an emergency call from She-Ra asking me to save Gay-skull.
  3. For somebody who looks like Raymond, I don’t think I would have passed the opportunity of rubbing my rough elbows to his smooth ones.


That got me thinking, maybe I did stood him up 2 years ago because he was attractive. Honestly, I am more comfortable dating people who aren’t that good-looking. I am very insecure and paranoid. All my close friends know that. One of them even suggested that I talk to a psychologist because my insecurities and paranoia are miles away from the border to Normal-ville.

Whether gays accept his or not, what I’m going to say is a fact: That when there is a gay couple, other gays around them readily pick who is the “Better Looking” of the two. Maybe 2 years ago, when I was supposed to meet Raymond, I though I wasn’t ready to be “the ugly one” of the two gays on a date.

I was about to say sorry to Raymond when he changed the topic. The night went on rather without a hitch, and he spared me from making up any stupid excuses for a thing I did to him 2 years ago.

We had more drinks until Jax closed. On my side, Dage’s date (the Mark Herras look-alike), and PIPES went home. On Raymond’s side, NICKY (his beautiful transie friend) left for a gay bar. Raymond, Dage, BABY (Raymond’s girl friend) and I, went to look for an open bar. We finally decided to go to No Name, a low-class videoke joint, to sing our hearts out. They continued to drink more beers while I continued gulping down some more pineapple juice.

At around 6 in the morning, we decided it was time to go home. Dage went on ahead while Raymond and Baby grabbed a tryke (yes, we don’t have cabs roaming freely around Olongapo, so our cabs are trykes). I told him I was going to ride the jeep instead but he insisted that I join them since our homes were just 15 blocks apart.

While on the tryke, Raymond started getting sick. I tried to ask the driver to stop but Raymond insisted that we don’t. I thought then that “This guy is bitchy.” But the thing was, instead of getting irritated, I found it cute. After some more drama on our way home because of Raymond getting sick with the tryke’s motion, we finally were at my block.

I asked the driver to stop the tryke,

Raymond said no.

I said in a more firm voice “Please stop the tryke.”

The driver stopped the tryke rather abruptly. BABY, who was sitting behind the driver all the while, held on for her dear life and her crock-skin Gucci bag.

I thought at that moment that Raymond might have been expecting me to sleep over at his place. Should I give him my 9-day old virginity? ... Oh F*ck ... I still had a boil on my perfectly shaped left butt.

Raymond: “Stay with me for the night please!”

ME: “I can’t. I have to go home!” (Because my butt hurts from the boil that I have).

Raymond: “Come on, you can go home any time you want. Just stay with me for a while please.”

Me: “I really can’t. I have to go home because it’s father’s day!” (and my boil really hurts).

Raymond looked like he was going to bust into an all-out tantrum that World War II would envy.

He started to do a count down.

Raymond: “5”

Me: “I Really can’t I’m sorry”

Raymond: “4”

Me: “Can I just sleep over your place tomorrow?”

Raymond: “3”

Me: “Ok, I’ll go to your place later, I’ll just greet my dad, sleep a little, then go to your place.”

Raymond: “2”

I ran out of things to say because of the pressure. This beats being a contestant at Eat Bulaga for a 1,000 PHP cash prize.

Raymond: “... so are you going to join us or not?”

....

....

and I made my decision.





(Obviously, to be continued again. Header pic form Hus Var Blog)

6 comments:

  1. ayun na... super nakakabitin nman.. hehehe..


    france =0

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  2. hahaha!!! very funny :)) pero ang cute.
    im starting to get hooked with this series. c'mon! post more... hehe :)

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  3. ABOUT THE TITLE: A lot of people have been asking me why I chose the title for this entry. My title is in reference to the 2nd chapter of Carol Lewis’ “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland“. Some literati might argue that the book is about psychosis/nuerosis and that my allusion to the book makes me look like I’m about to go insane. But the way I see it though, “Wonderland” can also stand for LOVE. I honestly believe that Love distorts our view of reality and makes all our dreams possible. But like Alice’s Wonderland, it isn’t all beautiful - as that world can also be dangerous if we are not careful. So in the end, it’s all up to us whether we choose to stay in our wonderlands (being in love), or to escape from it like what Alice did. In my case, I feel that during this part of our relationship, I already knew that I was on my way to my Wonderland. I honestly felt during this time that I was about to choose whether or not I should follow the WHITE RABBIT (Raymond), and tumble down into the Rabbit Hole to Wonderland or stay where I was ... which all of you will see on my next two posts ...

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  4. awww... so bitin!!! it's very cute, and romantic!!! sana magkasama tayo nun so para kinilig ako... para talaga kayo sa isat-isa... :)

    audrey

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  5. grrr, bitin! LOL! but i guess you said yes? ahaha, i know how inistent chard could be if he really put his mind into it, will make lambing and all just to get what he wants..LOL!GO!post mo na yung kasunod.. :)


    - arra

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