Friday, July 3, 2009

Love Found (Part 3 - Meeting The Friends)

My decision?

Honestly, I really didn’t know then whether I should go with Raymond to his house or not. Two mini-me’s appeared and argued as time stood still.

ANGEL: Remember, you promised your dad you will go home today because it’s Father’s Day!

DEVIL: Your dad is used to your breaking your promises. Raymond might be your “this is it”!

ANGEL: If he is your “this is it!” then he would understand why you can’t join!

DEMON: Remember you haven’t had sex for 9 days already?

ANGEL: And remember you still have a boil on your left butt!

DEVIL: If he’s your “this is it”, then he’ll understand.

Ok that was it! I am old enough to make my own decisions and I don’t need to rely on imaginary counsels.

I told Raymond I really wanted to join but I can’t. He looked at me with sad puppy eyes and he pouted his lips. I was about to join him again inside the tryke but thankfully, I was able to control myself. I bid my goodbye and turned my back and started to walk. I suddenly had this crazy urge to look back.

DEVIL: “If you look back, it’s a give-away that you like him!”

ANGEL: “That’s the point! Look back so that he knows you like him but you really can’t go to his place now!”

I slowly and dramatically looked back and prepared to give my best “seductive yet innocent smile ever”, but the tryke was already gone.

I tried not to text him as soon as I got to my room, but I failed. I told him that I enjoyed the night. He replied that he also enjoyed it and that he’d text me later that day because he was about to sleep already.

When I woke up and checked my phone, he already had a text and he asked if I can go to his place that night. I said yes without hesitation and my day went on like usual ... as boring as a bowl of rice without toppings.

When the night came and I was prepping, he texted me that I should go straight to his neighbor instead because his friend was having a birthday celebration.

When I read the message, my heart went ballistic. For straight people, meeting the parents is the most stressful part of a budding relationship. To gay people, meeting your new partner’s friends is as stressful if not more stressful. Why?

Most gay people treat their friends as their family. Most, if not all, out and closeted gays spend more time with their friends than their actual family. If you don't get along with your new partner’s friends, it’s usually a tell-tale sign that your relationship won’t last.

This was the reason why when he told me that I was about to go to a party where I’ll be the odd gay out (pun obviously intended), I was thought of canceling the “meeting”. But the thing was, I really thought Raymond was special, so I went on ahead.

Luckily, the night went on well. I still wasn’t supposed to drink any alcohol that time and MEL, the birthday girl, was so kind enough to tell me personally that I didn’t have to drink because Raymond already told them that I was on medication. When she told me this, my old counsels came back:

ANGEL: Don’t drink! She already told you that they know you can’t drink!

DEVIL: This is the first test! If you don’t drink, they’ll think you’re a party-pooper.

“I’m all good, I think I can drink a bottle or two” was what I told MEL.

It honestly felt weird being there as most of the people were straight. I’m so used to always being surrounded by gays (and gays who delude themselves of being bisexuals) that being in a straight crowd made me feel I’m back at work where I am a closet empress.

Raymond’s friends were really nice to me. I also felt that Raymond’s friends love him as much as he loves them.

The next day was my turn. Two of my “kids”, ROME and BOOTS were celebrating their birthday. I thought then, that my 1st-tier circle of friends are a bit difficult so introducing him to my younger friends would be better. Suffice to say, everything went well and I think Raymond and his friend Baby enjoyed my friends’ company.

After that was his turn again, but the pressure was still on as he was going to introduce me to his BFF (Best Friend Forever), IVORY. Now this girl was as intimidating as meeting a supermodel. She had a way of carrying herself that reminded me of Paris Hilton. She’s confident, beautiful, well-educated and articulate. Having one of the things I mentioned is already good, but this girl is the complete package.

Being with her was like standing on a needle point and being asked to juggle 2 elephants and one over-weight giraffe. The good thing though, was she was really nice and I THINK she thought I was OK for her BFF. I knew then that if I had to impress two of Raymond’s friends, it would be IVORY (since she is Raymond’s BFF) and BABY because she was always with Raymond.

The day came when I had to introduce him to my 1st-tier friends.

I’d have to say that during “our days” in the Olongapo Gimick scene .. there was no scene when we weren’t there. It isn’t because we were all rich (my friends are, not me), but people say that we exude an intimidating presence that even bouncers would gladly kiss the earth we tread on.

Most of them were not available, CASSEY, STAR and FRANCHESCA were in Manila. GWEN on the other hand, has been hiding in Laguna for 2 years now and nobody knows what has happened to him. HEART, was still in USA and won’t be in the Philippines for vacation ‘till I leave on the 9th of July.

I wasn’t really planing on introducing Raymond to my 1st-tier friends just yet, but MULCH texted me that he was in Olongapo because he heard that I was about to leave the Philippines soon and he wanted to see me before I go .... and my new partner.

This scared the shit out of me.

Of all my friends, MULCH is basically the most unpredictable. His mood swings are so fast that you’ll never know if he would slap you in the face as soon as he’s done laughing his heart out. Aside from this, he can be considered as a sadist. He believes in the saying “Truth Hurts” and he doesn’t shy away from hurting people. He’ll tell you the truth whether you like to hear it or not. That’s why a lot of people don’t get him, and when they don’t get him .... well ... they don’t like him. And there lies the problem, MULCH doesn’t care whether people like him or not.

I really was considering to send him a rain check when KIARA confirmed that he was also coming. That lightened my burden of “MULCH might gut Raymond on the Spot” a little.

In our group, KIARA has always been the most supportive. He doesn’t speak much, though when he does, you better listen because it would be something really important. KIARA is the type who’ll listen to whatever you have to say, and if he doesn’t like it, will wait for the proper time to tell you in a very gentle manner what he thinks. He also has this calming presence (kinda like Jasper in Meyer’s Twilight). This fact made me confident that somebody will be able stop MULCH if he goes into a Super-Biatch-Rampage.

When we got to our meeting place, the first thing I asked MULCH was not to give Raymond a difficult time. What he said shocked me:

MULCH: I don’t think so. I think I’ll be a little harsh on your date for a change.

ME: Huh? Why are you going to do that? When you guys have a date or in a relationship, I have always been short of bringing pompoms to show my support.

MULCH: Look, your last relationship sucked big time and you got hurt. We were supportive with your last one who turned out to be a disaster for you. This time, I’ll try to do the interrogation since you always forget to investigate who you're dating. You might already be dating a psycho-killer and you’ll never notice.

... I looked at Kiara for some back-up but he was busy with choosing a song to sing from the song book.

When Raymond and Baby came, the disaster followed them.

Mulch only waited 5 minutes after Raymond and Baby had taken their seats when he started bludgeoning him with questions. Raymond looked like a deer caught in Optimus-Prime’s headlights. I tried diverting the topic but Mulch kept on going like he was on an Eveready battery marinated in RedBull.

Magic happened when KIARA started singing. Mulch suddenly stopped asking questions and looked at the videoke monitor. I think he found it difficult to decide which was more important - singing or harassing my date.

Lady Luck smiled upon me as Mulch decided singing “I'm Yours” by Jason Mraz was more important than asking Raymond what was his GPA during his last year in College.

The night went on pretty well as Mulch softened up and showed that he liked Raymond and Baby. They were enjoying so much, in fact, that I even had to make a scene so that we could leave. I wanted to go home as it was already 7 in the morning and we were still in a bar drinking. Raymond, Baby and I went ahead as Kiara and Mulch stayed in the Videoka bar with all it's couch-bugs and mosquitoes.

I thought then that Raymond really is special. He has put up with my already difficult friend trying to be even more difficult. Aside from that, I like his friends and they have been really kind to me.

It was then I decided I didn’t want to hold back anymore. I have wanted to tell him this right after our 3rd date, but I didn’t want to be the first one to say it as I might not get the reply I wanted to.

I crossed myself and typed away ...

I texted Raymond: “I love you.”

It felt like forever until my phone beeped that I had a message.

My ear-to-ear smile evaporated into oblivion.

His reply wasn’t the one I was expecting ....




(To be concluded.)

(Rome and Boots' Birthday with "my kids")

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Love Found (Part 2 - Down the Rabbit Hole)

When my long-time crush started to talk to me, I felt like I was the one being applauded at by the audience.

How can a flimsy, short, big-nosed, tactless, fugly (fucking ugly) and pathetic person like me end up on a date with this uber-hot guy? I tried to recall if I’ve made a bet on the “Date A Hot Guy” lottery, but I was pretty sure I didn’t.

I snapped back to reality when my long-time-crush, Raymond, asked what I wanted to do. I asked him if it were OK if he joined me and my friends at our table.

I thought I should say something like “It’s OK, I understand if you want to go back to your friends. It was really nice meeting you and I hope you live a good life and please read my blog when I wallow in self-pity by your instantaneously dumping me at first sight.”

Before the air from my diaphragm was able to reach my voice box for me to enunciate what I was thinking, he said “OK, lets go to your table then.”

My soul was doing a round-off, double back-hand-spring, full twisting lay-out to a double toe-touch when he followed me to our table. I was kind of expecting him to make a run for the nearest exit as soon as I turned my back, but he didn’t. He actually sat beside me.

When we got there, Pipes was already with his date at another table. Raymond and I joined Dage and his Mark Herras look-alike workmate.

Our conversation went really smooth. After a few minutes of the usual gay-getting-to-know-another-gay conversation, it was then that he told me that even before I messaged him in PlanteRomeo a week before that fateful meeting, we have been chatting with one another 2 years before.

He said that we used to chat often and we scheduled to meet at SBMA’s Sibil (may that bar rest in peace). He said that I stood him up, so every time he saw me online or anywhere in Olongapo for that matter, he didn’t bother talking to me since he thought that I did an O-WEB on him.

For those not in the know, O-WEB stands for One-Way Eye-Ball. It’s like this ... O-WEB happens when one person schedules to meet another person and hides behind a Kalachuchi tree as the person checks-out the lamentable date. If that person behind the Kalachuchi tree doesn’t like what he/she sees, that person texts the looser date that he/she can’t come because a comet hit him/her while parking Wonderwoman’s Invisible Jet.

Basically, Raymond thought I saw him, didn’t like him, and just made some petty excuse to cancel the date.

I asked him “How did I cancel our date from 2 years ago?”

Raymond: “You said you were really drunk and can’t go to where I was.”

Me: “Where were you at that time?”

Raymond: “Parking lot of Sibil.”

Me: “Where was I?”

Raymond: “You were inside SIbil.”

Ok, that conversation went really weird. I was pretty sure that he got the story all wrong because:

  1. It was highly improbable that I will be too drunk to walk 30 steps to meet a person. If I were really drunk, I wouldn’t have been able to text him in the first place. Some people look for fights when they get drunk. Some look for a quick way to get laid. I, on the other hand, am part of the population who fall into a catatonic stupor when drunk (known to most as falling asleep).
  2. I don’t like being stood up so I never do it to another person unless that person is Frankenstein. I’ve already had several blind dates where I wished I were blind to spare myself from the ghastly sight. But I’ve never stood a person up. When I really can’t stand my blind date, I usually spend at least 30 minutes with them before I get an emergency call from She-Ra asking me to save Gay-skull.
  3. For somebody who looks like Raymond, I don’t think I would have passed the opportunity of rubbing my rough elbows to his smooth ones.

That got me thinking, maybe I did stood him up 2 years ago because he was attractive. Honestly, I am more comfortable dating people who aren’t that good-looking. I am very insecure and paranoid. All my close friends know that. One of them even suggested that I talk to a psychologist because my insecurities and paranoia are miles away from the border to Normal-ville.

Whether gays accept his or not, what I’m going to say is a fact: That when there is a gay couple, other gays around them readily pick who is the “Better Looking” of the two. Maybe 2 years ago, when I was supposed to meet Raymond, I though I wasn’t ready to be “the ugly one” of the two gays on a date.

I was about to say sorry to Raymond when he changed the topic. The night went on rather without a hitch, and he spared me from making up any stupid excuses for a thing I did to him 2 years ago.

We had more drinks until Jax closed. On my side, Dage’s date (the Mark Herras look-alike), and PIPES went home. On Raymond’s side, NICKY (his beautiful transie friend) left for a gay bar. Raymond, Dage, BABY (Raymond’s girl friend) and I, went to look for an open bar. We finally decided to go to No Name, a low-class videoke joint, to sing our hearts out. They continued to drink more beers while I continued gulping down some more pineapple juice.

At around 6 in the morning, we decided it was time to go home. Dage went on ahead while Raymond and Baby grabbed a tryke (yes, we don’t have cabs roaming freely around Olongapo, so our cabs are trykes). I told him I was going to ride the jeep instead but he insisted that I join them since our homes were just 15 blocks apart.

While on the tryke, Raymond started getting sick. I tried to ask the driver to stop but Raymond insisted that we don’t. I thought then that “This guy is bitchy.” But the thing was, instead of getting irritated, I found it cute. After some more drama on our way home because of Raymond getting sick with the tryke’s motion, we finally were at my block.

I asked the driver to stop the tryke,

Raymond said no.

I said in a more firm voice “Please stop the tryke.”

The driver stopped the tryke rather abruptly. BABY, who was sitting behind the driver all the while, held on for her dear life and her crock-skin Gucci bag.

I thought at that moment that Raymond might have been expecting me to sleep over at his place. Should I give him my 9-day old virginity? ... Oh F*ck ... I still had a boil on my perfectly shaped left butt.

Raymond: “Stay with me for the night please!”

ME: “I can’t. I have to go home!” (Because my butt hurts from the boil that I have).

Raymond: “Come on, you can go home any time you want. Just stay with me for a while please.”

Me: “I really can’t. I have to go home because it’s father’s day!” (and my boil really hurts).

Raymond looked like he was going to bust into an all-out tantrum that World War II would envy.

He started to do a count down.

Raymond: “5”

Me: “I Really can’t I’m sorry”

Raymond: “4”

Me: “Can I just sleep over your place tomorrow?”

Raymond: “3”

Me: “Ok, I’ll go to your place later, I’ll just greet my dad, sleep a little, then go to your place.”

Raymond: “2”

I ran out of things to say because of the pressure. This beats being a contestant at Eat Bulaga for a 1,000 PHP cash prize.

Raymond: “... so are you going to join us or not?”



and I made my decision.

(Obviously, to be continued again. Header pic form Hus Var Blog)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Love Found (Part 1 - The Meeting)

I’ve been wanting to blog about this for quite some time already, but the thing is, I’m afraid I’ll just jinx the good things that are happening to me right now. Since I’m a gossip monger, I’ll explode unless all of you know about this - So I’ll just go on ahead and blog about it.

I was supposed to meet up with DOC SIO for a date, but he said he couldn’t make it because he wasn’t feeling well. I asked him if it were alright if I’d just invite another person for a date. He said yes, so I looked at the last “non-friend/family” who texted me and I got the winner of “Lets go on a date with Driedfish whether you like it or not” contest.

I texted RAYMOND and asked him if he were busy. He said no, and that we can meet up in Jax (a comedy bar in Olongapo). There was a show there by a group called Gwadings (Gwapong Bading or Good-looking Gays). I wanted to watch the show since I HEARD they were really good-looking. Raymond, on the other hand, had tickets for the show that were given to him by a friend so it was a serendipitous match. Who is Raymond?

Most gay people use their Penis as the barometer whether they ought to message a person or not in PlanetRomeo (former G4M - the gay friendster). When they look at a person’s profile pic and get an erection, it was a sure sign that they were soulmates. Well, as you may now know - I’m not like most people. I usually look at the pic, IF I like what I see, I proceed to reading everything on his profile. Afterwards, I pray to the patron saint of Filipino gays, San Rio, for the person to message me. If that person didn’t message me after my novena, it was a sign from San Rio that we’re not compatible.

Raymond’s pic caught my attention because he was half-naked on top of his bed with a pillow on his face. I first thought it was kinky and I wanted to see more; but his page didn’t have any other pic for me to ogle at, so I began to read his profile. To cut the crap short, I loved his profile because of his flawless English grammar (unlike mine), dry wit, and a no-nonesense portrayal of himself. I then mused - “This guy should message me”.

I prayed for 4 straight hours and nothing happened. My facebook buddies were all asleep and I was already getting a bit dreary with Mafia Wars and Restaurant City so I thought I might as well message this guy! A thought bubble came up saying “Don’t worry if he rejects you. You should have gotten used to that by now.”

I messaged him “I love your profile, the last part reminds me of Savage Garden’s Affirmation though.” He messaged me back with “You caught me there hehehe So how are you doing?” and we started messaging in PR from then on, and started texting some time after that.

Back to Jax. I spent the first 2 hours with my friends PIPES and DAGE (plus his good-looking, but straight, workmate). We were starting to get bored when I saw my long-time crush enter the door.

I’ve been seeing this guy around Olongapo’s gimmick scene for the past couple of years but we never got introduced because I don’t know any of his friends. My long-time crush sat by the bar with two of his buddies.

There I was waiting for my blind date to arrive and I was already cheating on him by imagining my crush, walking 6 tables away just to ask for a lighter (and ultimately, my phone number). How pathetic can I get .... right?

My phone alerted me that I had a message. It read “I’m here by the bar already. I’m a bit shy so I can’t go near you and your friends. Can we meet by the comfort room?”

I surveyed the bar.

Aside from my crush and his friends, the others seated by the bar were Senior Gay Citizens and some of the performers who were on their break with their respective clout. I saw my crush stand-up and leave. Wishing he stayed because he’s the only one worth looking at by the bar, I tried to busy myself with drinking my pineapple juice (yes, I still had a butt-boil by this time so I still couldn’t drink any alcoholic beverage).

I was trying to figure out who my date was from the psychedelic collection of gays and girls in the bar when I got a text that read “I’m here in the CR already. Are you coming?”

So that’s why I couldn’t find him ... he already left the bar! I realized I still had hope of my date NOT being either a Senior Gay Citizen or a Comedy Bar Act.

I then stood up, told my friends I’ll just meet up with my blind date and headed for the John.

When I got to the drape that covered the CR’s entrance, two straight guys were right outside who obviously had too much to drink. I went inside to save myself from discomfort.

When I got in, I saw my crush taking a pee. I turned back and went outside again because he might think I was stalking him. I honestly believe that it is better to get bashed by straight people you don’t know rather than get beaten-up by your long-time crush.

I was about to text my blind date to ask where he was when the John’s drape opened.

My long-time crush walked to me ..

... he smiled ...

... I trembled a bit ...

... he asked ...

...“So how are you doing?”

... and I heard the audience’s applause as the Gwadings were taking their curtsy after singing Beyonce’s Single Ladies ...

(... to be continued really soon, as in after a day)