Thursday, September 10, 2009

On Saying Goodbye When You've Just Found Love (Part 2 of 2)


After all the effort of concealing my escape so that I don’t have to introduce my parents to Raymond, my dad had seem to have developed the power of telepathy and made a way to hinder my clandestine access to our gate.


“What are you standing there for? Raymond might already be waiting for you by our street corner!” said my dad as he was trying to haul my red Samsonite luggage.


It looked that I didn’t have any other choice but to go with the flow. So off we went down the slope that is our inclined street towards the nearest intersection.


Luckily, Raymond wasn’t there yet so an extended meet and greet between my dad my new partner wasn’t going to be that long and uncomfortable. When the tryke came where Raymond was snugly seated, I realized that their rubbing elbows might be short ... but it would still be highly uncomfortable.


Why was I feeling uneasy? Raymond was a trophy: he’s good-looking, well-educated and self-sufficient. Aside from that, my dad didn’t seem to mind meeting my new partner. Why did I have this strange foreboding that a dark rain cloud was hanging over my head, waiting for the right time to dump acid rain on my psychedelic gay parade?


After a short introduction of “Dad this is Raymond, Raymond this is my dad. Let’s go!” Raymond transfered from the cab to the seat behind the driver. I threw my two huge luggage, backpack and laptop bag inside the tryke. I kissed, then hugged my dad and told him I’ll meet him and my mom at the airport on the day of my departure. My dad didn’t give a big fuss about my hurried farewell although I know for a fact that he and my mom will have a blow-by-blow account of what has transpired at our street corner.


While on the bus going to Manila, I pretended I was sleeping on Raymond’s shoulders while he was holding my hand. I was waiting for him to ask me why I was fidgeting when I was introducing him to my dad. Another hassle was added when a guy sat next to our seat when our bus made a stop in Pampanga. My gaydar alerted me that this guy’s blood was as pink as Barbie’s blush-on. He kept on looking at us every 5-10 minutes. I tried sitting up straight and letting go of Raymond’s hand for somewhere around 30 minutes but he still kept on looking.


Luckily, this guy provided the distraction I needed. My fidgeting during Raymond and my dad’s first meeting didn’t come up. Captain Gossipmonger of Pampanga might have been waiting for Raymond and I to do something nasty in front him. Thankfully, I felt I preferred sleeping on my Yumyum’s shoulder rather than asking Mr. Pampanga how he grew up to be a pervert.


That night, Raymond, Cassey, Janna, Kai, and I went to O-Bar for a night out. We didn’t really stay too long as I had to wake up early the next day to get my e-ticket from my agent and to meet up with ZORRO to give him back some of his stuff. So after finishing a bottle of Absolute Vodka Kurant, 2 6-packs of Sprite, half a bottle of cherry preserves and an unknown number of lemon wedges, we all went back to Cassey’s apartment.


The next day, after I was finished with my agent, I went straight ahead to Glorietta to meet up with Zorro.


Rewind.


When I still had Susan Boyle performing on my butt cheek, I also had a fit of flu. Zorro visited me and brought some oranges and DVD’s with him to help me “recover”. That same night, after around 20 minutes of Zorro leaving our home, he called while crying on the phone.


As I told you before, Zorro and his partner have been living together under one roof for more than a year already. When he got to their place, he wondered why their room’s light was turned on. When he opened their kitchen’s lights to get some water to drink, he heard a commotion in their room. Afterwards, his partner came out wearing only a towel around his waist. Zorro was surprised as his partner said that he was going to stay overnight in Pampanga for a conference. When his partner told him this, Zorro asked if he could stay overnight in his brother's place, to which his partner said yes. While talking, another guy came out of their room, also wearing just a towel around his waist. He felt betrayed and ran out of their place. As it was raining, he went to the nearest shed and was waiting for a tryke to bring him to his brother’s house while crying because of his partner’s alleged act of betrayal. He called me because he didn’t know what to do.


I told him to just go to his brother’s place and think it through. He was obviously still very much emotional about it and if he were to talk with his partner at that state, he might say and do things he will soon regret.


Anyways, back to me.


I haven’t had the chance to give him back the DVD’s he lent me because he was all over the map of Luzon while trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life without his recent ex. I, on the other hand, was busy with Raymond, so we didn’t really have the time to meet up and talk about what happened.


Since it was my last day in the Philippines and he was staying in a hotel in the Makati area, I met up with him to give him back his DVD’s and to ask him how he was coping. He wanted to treat me for a snack so I said yes. Why would I say no to a freebie right? While eating, he asked if I already watched Transformers 2. I’ve always wanted to watch the movie but never got around to actually doing it. I told him I’ll watch it with him as a friend. I wanted to make it clear to him that I am with him as a friend and not as a date because I am already committed. He said he was cool with the fact that I’m not interested in him and just really wanted my company.


While watching the movie, Raymond asked me where I was. I told him I was with Zorro watching Transformers 2. He told me we should have dinner together as it was my last night in the Philippines. I told him he shouldn’t worry about it because I really was planning to have dinner with him and will go back to Cassey’s as soon as the movie finished.


We left the theater as soon as the closing credits rolled. Zorro and I bid our farewells as he told me he was going to Guam to his sister to soul search a week after I leave. I wished him good luck in finding his soul and off I went to Cassey’s pad.


When I got there, Raymond was so mad at me that it felt like I was a refugee from Well’s “The Invisible Man”. He was watching the Michael Jackson wake coverage. Although he answered the questions I asked, he only answered them in 10 or less syllables while his eyes never left the TV. Cassey, Kai and Janna were nowhere to be found. I ask Raymond where they were but he answered in a very child-hates-his-mother-tone “They left to go to White Plains to have dinner with Cassey’s friend.” The answer was more than 10 syllables so it looked like he was softening up.


I asked him why he didn’t join them in going to White Plains.


“They invited me but I told them I’ll stay here because I’ll wait for you to come back. It’s our last night together for the next 6 months so I thought you wanted to spend it with me!” said Raymond as he rolled his eyes.


Have I become that insensitive already? Am I that selfish? What made me think that I can just dump my partner with my friends as I watched alien robots clobbering at each other.


I snuggled up to him and said a million pardons. Technically, he smiled when I got to somewhere around the 26th “I’m Sorry and I’ll never do it again.”


Then he said “It’s okay for you to watch movies with your friends, just make sure I know them ... and none of them is Zorro.”


So Raymond was jealous of Zorro ... this was another proof of the gossip that has been roaming around about me for the longest time ... I’m so effin’ beautiful!


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


By 2 am, I was done with re-packing all my luggage. Cassey, Kai and Raymond went with me to get a cab. I said goodbye and never made a big drama about it. I wanted to leave as soon as I can because I might go crazy and not leave at all because of Raymond.


I had the cab driver go to Victory Liner in Pasay to fetch my parents (my sister can’t drive them because our car was coded so they rode the bus instead). As soon as we were all together, my parents asked where Raymond was. I told them he was still at Cassey’s. They just nodded at the same time like they’ve choreographed the move and started interrogating the cab driver about his life as a transportation associate.


I knew this interview will take a very long time so I thought I’d better get my 3rd Generation iPod Shuffle on to set a dramatic mood on my 9th time to leave the Philippines. I suddenly realized I left my iPod at Cassey’s.


I got my phone and dialed Cassey’s number.


“Cassey, can you check if I left my iPod on top of the wooden dresser in your room?”


After a couple of seconds, Cassey’s bright and chirpy voice rang in my ear. “Yeah girl, it’s still here! Wanna have Raymond bring it to you to the airport?”


I never really thought of that. I guess I can’t expect Cassey to bring it for me. I don’t also want to burden Raymond with having to bring an insignificant accessory when he has already given me so much of his time and his effort. Before I could say no, Raymond was already on the phone.


“Cassey told me all about it. I’ll meet you in the airport at around 5?”


It looked like I won’t have any choice so I said yes and thanked Raymond for his understanding.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


The line for checking-in my luggage was so long. It took me about an hour to finish everything up. I hastily went outside as my parents would have scared Raymond away with their unending queries.


When I got to the waiting area for relatives and friends of those who were leaving the Philippines, I saw my parents and Raymond talking animatedly. My dad saw me and waived. I marched up to them really fast and talked like a robot. I asked Raymond for my iPod, thanked him, said goodbye to him and my parents and marched off.


When I was a couple of yards away, I don’t what made me do it, but I looked back. I then realized why during important partings in Hollywood movies, everything slows down. I thought it was just a prerequisite effect for directors so that the audience will know that he/she is good. I understood then that when you are about to say goodbye, everything does seem to slowdown. You want to remember everything you see that you soak it all up - the sight, the smell and even the feel of the air around you. The last thing I saw was Raymond still talking to my parents with a wide smile on his face. They didn’t see me looking back, but if my sisters, my brother and his family were there, it would have been a complete picture of everything I hold dearly in my heart.


When I was done with Immigration and was sitting in Tinderbox, the only Cafe in NAIA where smoking is allowed, I felt I did everything wrong. I should have talked to Raymond longer than just “Thanks for bringing my iPod.” I should have pulled him away from my parents and told him how much he meant to me and that I love him more than he thinks I do.


Though I know I wasn’t able to do that, I also know in my heart that after 6 months, I’ll have another chance to tell him everything I wasn’t able to. Until then, I guess I have to just hold on to the wonderful memories we’ve shared with the 3 weeks we were together.

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